"I can set the leg but she can't walk on it for several weeks. We should just leave her here and let her get help for herself." No, set the leg and we'll take her with us. Make sure to bring her pack and things with you when you come up." Max, in my pack, in the outer pocket, are some strips of cloth. Toss them down to me with some arm length sticks." Then he turned back to me. "Take a deep breath and hold still."I yelled when he set the bone and almost passed out again, but then some of the pain did stop. Just then, someone tossed down some fabric and the sticks that he wanted. He bound the leg up tight and I hoped that it would hold. I also hoped that this man could convince the others to just leave me, I had a bad feeling about the leader and if something happened, there would be nothing I could do to stop it."Please just leave me. You don't have to take me with you. I can get help, please." It's not up to me and if Paul says your coming with us, he means it. Just behave and. Satisfied. At least for a few moments. Thosewere the moments she stood in front of her cabinet. Watching therazorblades. Right next to the bandages, skin closure strips and sterilecompresses. For minutes. Sometimes longer. Ramona kept coming back aswell on those days. Staring blankly into the cabinet. Not doing it madeher feel proud of herself. And disappointed. The negativity was in her,did not bled out.Maybe the loneliness added to her current feelings. She tried dating butalways felt either disgusted or didn't click with the persons she wrote.Those experiences were part of why she came to that honeypot subredditwhich was there to deal sarcastically and with a huge portion of ironywith the struggles dating and especially dating when being trans broughtwith it. She gave up on the idea of finding someone online on a datingapp. Always the same bullshit. Maybe one she meets the right one whilebumping their shopping carts together. Maybe one day.But right now, wasn't the time anyway..
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